1.28.2006 oops - I'm a'ight, honest

First off, I'm really really behind on responding to e-mails. Sorry!

Sorry for any concern I caused with that last post. It seems only 2 or 3 people understood.

In short, I can't verbally express myself very well. I don't like to either. Even with the people I'm most close to and who I know will understand the intent of what I'm saying or where I'm coming from.

I find when I try to pour my heart out verbally about something I have to get off my chest I spend so much time responding to the responses of what I'm saying that I loose focus on what I'm actually trying to say. I become so frustrated and flustered that I usually don't get out my points or I just give up.

There's a quote I've always loved: "Seek first to understand and then to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand: They listen with the intent to reply"

In being able to write things out in a place that's *my place*, a place that people only come to if they choose to, only read if they choose to... I'm finding a freedom and voice that I've very rarely had before. Because of this I'm not censoring myself very much. I'm writing things that I probably wouldn't say because I don't like making people uncomfortable. But again, this is my place... so it feels different.

Once I write these things out I'm usually able to turn the page. It feels like a cleansing. I've solidified how I'm feeling in writing, I've acknowledged it, and from there I can let it go or work on improving it.

Ok that said, I am SOOOOOOOOO behind on responding to e-mails and I'm very sorry. I will have no excuse this week for not getting back to people since I have a week to do whatever I want with.

Labels: bereavement, relationships

posted by cat @ 1/28/2006 06:35:00 PM 0 comments  | 

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